The Crux of the Matter

And we have arrived at the crux of the matter: child care.  The last two days M has been picked up from school by Nana & little sister, C. And she has not complained at all one bit about going to school. In fact she has SANG on the way to school. All manner of songs, ones she has learned in school, ones she has made up. (“Mom, let’s sing the Driving Song! We’re driving. We’re Driving. All day. All day.”)

And then today, she remembered she has to go back to child care after school. And she started crying again.  “There are too many kids. And we go too many places.”  And she started telling me that first they go to the playground, then they go to the gym, and then to “the room with the round tables” (the multi-purpose room).  And there are a lot of kids in child care. And she asked me why I couldn’t pick her up after school, why did I have to work? And she ended with “No one sees me. No one cares about me.”

I had to pull the car over and get out and tell her that that wasn’t true. And through my tears (the first time I’ve cried since she started school!) that her father & I care about her very much, we love her. And her grandparents, her aunts & uncles, her teachers, everyone cares about her.  How can a child feel this way?  So heartbreaking!

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